I did it!

I have completed my CNA course and clinicals, now I just have the state exam to take this Friday. I'm not worried about it too much because I did very well in the course. And then I will be a 'certified nursing assistant'!! Not sure when I will officially look for a job, but I do have contacts at the children's hospitals around here that might help me get my foot in the door.

I am also now a Lia Sophia advisor! I bit the bullet and signed up. I am excited and ready to get going but am experiencing some resistance from my friends when I ask for a couple of them to host a show to get me started. I don't understand why I am being met with this reception...I go out of my way to do things for others so I thought my 'friends' would be willing to help me start my business. The host isn't even required to buy anything, just get some friends together and let me present the gorgeous high quality jewelry! If I can't get a couple shows booked for August, then my business is doomed and dead before it even got started. Really hoping someone steps up, helps their friend, and gets me going.

Until then, I am going to work as hard as I can at this until the baby is born. I'm 8 months now...it feels weird to say "I am going to have a baby next month!" LOL. I want to get the ball rolling before baby comes so I can take a few weeks off after his birth, and then pick up strong when I'm ready to.

The kids are excited to start back to school next month, Ian in 2nd grade and Quinn in kindergarten. :) They have enjoyed a lazy summer, although it has either been super hot (too hot to play outside) or rainy so they haven't gotten much outside time. I've also been so busy that we haven't been able to go do many fun things. I hope I can make it up to them.

Well I will hopefully continue to blog my adventure into lia sophia jewelry. I love the products so much, and when you are passionate about something, you succeed in it! Ready to make things happen!

Making decisions scares me

I've been wanting to pursue a nursing degree for YEARS. If I had done it back when I first wanted to, I would probably have my master's degree and be a nurse anesthetist. I already had a couple years under me at the college I went to, and instead of transferring to the nursing school I decided to keep going with the program I was in. Which was a terrible idea because Music Business isn't such a booming industry these days.

So after all this time, and watching some of my friends living MY dream and becoming nurses, I have taken the first step and registered for a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) course this summer. This will be my first step, to get this certification, and then once I secure a job at a local hospital I can likely get tuition reimbursed for me to get a nursing degree. I already have a Bachelor's degree so hopefully I can skip a bunch of Gen-Ed courses. 2 year degree nurses make as much as 4 year degree nurses, so I am going to go with the Associate Nursing degree. Someday. For now, I'm going to just get through the CNA course this summer! (while pregnant!)

Also, I went to a Lia Sophia jewelry party recently and just fell in love with the products. I am seriously considering becoming a consultant for them. I have a very large network of friends and think I could make a decent income. And if I don't make much, it will still be super fun. I don't think NOW is the time for me to jump into it though...it might have to wait until the first of the year. I am very excited about it!

So, just a couple decisions I recently made, which scare me just to think about them. Its good for me to do things that scare me though, as I tend to let my life get into a rut sometimes. The timing is awkward since I am pregnant but I guess there's no time like the present!

Random Thought

Sometimes I wish I had a sign on my body/clothing that says "I love and support the LBGT community!"

We were eating at Cici's Pizza the other evening, and there was a younger gay couple in the booth in front of ours. One of the young men went to refill his drink and was walking back to the booth and caught me looking at him. He smiled quickly and sat down, and then I felt awkward because he probably thought I was staring at him, judging him, when I was just thinking about how years from now, when the civil rights movement for the LBGT community is victorious and they have all the rights as the rest of us, I can be proud that I have been a supporter the WHOLE time.

One thing I am passionate about (besides helping others) is the gay rights movement. I don't really know many gay people, either. I'm not one of those people who has a close gay friend and entered the fight in their honor...I'm just a happily married heterosexual female who believes all adults should be able to marry the one they love.

I'm also a Christian who sins plenty myself, so if people want to say this will cost me my salvation, then at least I'll go out being true to myself and having love for my fellow person, and without hate in my heart. (which sounds like what we as Christians are supposed to do anyways)

Update

I have not been a very good blogger, have I?

Well I am now 20 weeks pregnant with my THIRD son! Yep, that's right, another boy! I guess that's what we're good at. :) As I sit here typing, I feel him wiggling around in my belly and I can't wait to be able to hold him for the first time.

We had gotten rid of all of our baby stuff, so I bought a new travel system that includes a stroller and infant car seat. Now I need one of those pack-n-play things with a built in bassinet for the first few months when he'll be rooming in with Chris and I. And then when its crib time, I don't even know where we are going to put him since my sister is still living with us and has our 4th bedroom. We finished our basement this winter and there's a bedroom down there, but Chris is using it as his office....plus I don't want to move any of my kids down there until they are older. And my sister can't use the new bedroom because she has cats in her room that have destroyed the carpet under the door. There's NO WAY they are allowed to be downstairs in the basement on the new carpet. So, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I've got a decent amount of cute newborn boy clothes. The Gymboree I used to work at had an after hours "shop the stockroom" sale and I got some great deals on things for this upcoming fall. Plus some of my coworkers have bought me some little onesies and outfits here and there. We'll be well prepared once he arrives, I'm sure. :)

Here we go again!

Chris and I are expecting baby #3! My due date is September 30th. We had only been trying for one month, so we were incredibly surprised that it worked so quickly. We would love to have a little girl this time, but another boy would still be a blessing. We haven't told the boys yet. I think we'll wait a while and then I will try to come up with a fun, creative way to tell them. I will have to make sure that they understand that this time its OUR baby, and not somebody else's.

Chris and I have already decided on a girl name...LOL. Of course, we won't be telling anyone until the baby is born. And by then we may change our minds anyways. And if its another boy, we will need a name that goes well with Ian and Quinn.

I don't know when I will have my first doctor's appointment. They usually don't want to see you until you are 8 or so weeks along. That is a long time away considering I am only 3w3d. I got my first positive test only 6DPO, a darker one on 7DPO, and a very obvious digital "Pregnant" on 8DPO. I don't think Chris really believed it until he saw the digital test results. But now he's happy and excited. We are going to have to buy all new baby stuff since we got rid of everything previously. We thought we were done with 2 kids so we got rid of everything. We are starting over, no matter if this baby is a girl or a boy. Baby shopping is fun though and I cant wait!

I'm alive!

Yes! I am still alive. I've been so busy that carving out some time to blog just hasn't been possible.

I'm working 2 part time jobs, at Life Time Fitness and at Gymboree. So when I'm not working, I am working out or running my kids to and from school and/or sports. With the summer approaching, I am going to have more time to relax and perhaps blog. ;) Unless the warm sunshine just keeps me outdoors all summer, which would be fine by me!

I haven't been running at all this year. I've been doing a lot of kickboxing and dance classes at the gym though. I bought some cute new running gear and hope to get out there one day soon and get a good run in. The weather is getting pretty warm here, too...I don't want to run in 80+ degree weather, which is what we have right now! I am hoping to run the Life Time Fitness Torchlight 5K again like I did last year. It was my first organized race and was so much fun.

Lots of stuff has been going on. Chris and I are doing fantastic as always. The boys are growing like weeds and both are doing well in school. Ian has been on the Lakeville track team, and is AWESOME at hurdles. I'm thinking its because his legs are so long compared to the other, normal sized kids on the teams. He's not very fast at running the 50, 100, or 200 though, but he doesn't finish in last place at least. His last track meet is tomorrow night and I hope he wins the hurdles again like last week. The school year is almost over for both of them. Quinn's last day of 3yo preschool is next Thursday. Ian's last day of Kindergarten is sometime in early-mid June. I can't believe it.

Chris has finally received a decent raise at work, as well as partial ownership in the company starting at the beginning of 2011. He has worked SO hard for this. He was going to resign there and work for another company, but his current job really stepped up and made him feel appreciated. So he's staying and we're all happy. He gets to keep the flexibility he has now, and make some extra money which is always nice.

We have started construction on our basement. It was completely unfinished, but a guy from our church does construction and he started on it 2 Mondays ago. It's really coming along nicely. Its a BIG space so it will take a while to finish, especially since he's only one guy, but he's giving us a good price and we're letting him have creative freedom which makes him happy. I can't wait to get ALL the toys out from this level of the house and down into the basement. "Bye kids...go downstairs and play!" LOL

A cat had kittens under one of our bushes recently and we were able to catch 3 of them. We have them upstairs in the bathroom with all the necessary kitty supplies. We are going to try to find them homes, but I think we might end up keeping one. I wouldn't be opposed to keeping all 3, but Chris is kinda anti-pet so I think if he lets me keep one I will be happy. He's getting attached to them too, I can tell. ;) I wish I could catch the other 2 kittens. I worry about them out there. I don't want them to get run over or eaten or starve to death. The mama cat is fast and runs away so we can't catch her. I'd like to take her in too so she can be with her babies, but I haven't seen her or the other 2 kittens in a few days. :(

Well, thats all for now. I need to go collect my kiddos from their schools, then go to work at Gymboree.

It felt good to blog again. I look forward to doing this again! :)

Frustrated

I have always felt that I was destined to do something big or be someone important. I want to make a difference in peoples' lives.

Lately, the feeling that I need to do something NOW has settled over me like a ton of bricks. I always have that feeling that you get in your chest the split second you realize you forgot to do something important and need to jump up right away and do it. And let me tell you, its not a relaxing feeling at all. I'm on edge and anxious, and I have no idea how to stop this.

I know I need to be doing something. But what? I've always said that I would go back to work full time once my kids were both in school full time, but that wont be until Quinn's in 1st grade. And even then, what will I do? I could go back to my old job, but it wont fulfill me. I didn't help people. I was just another voice on the other end of the phone, ordering appraisals on foreclosed properties.

I should have gone to nursing school when I had the chance. If I could go back in time and change any one thing about my life, I would get a degree in nursing instead of a music business degree that I will never do anything with. I cant even go to nursing school at this time because of the student loans we're still paying for my first degree, plus the fact that clinicals are all day long and I'm the one who takes the kids to and from school (the bus doesnt pick up where we live).

So here I am, chasing something unknown. Its dangling in front of me and I'm running as hard as I can on that treadmill. Getting nowhere.

I want to help people. I want a job...no, a career...that I can feel good about. I want to make a difference in peoples' lives. I want to give love and compassion and support. I just want to give, even though I have nothing tangible to give.

Chris says I am ignoring my calling. But I dont know what to do or how to do it. But I do know I will never ever feel fulfilled until I figure it out.