Every day I have this internal battle with myself, which ultimately comes down to: Who am I going to be today? Am I going to be the fun, outgoing, confident Jen or the insecure, sad, dramatic Jen?
The first Jen doesn't exist much these days. I hate that I tie my confidence and self worth to the way I look. I feel enormous, clumsy, unattractive, and uncomfortable. I don't know why I feel this way with this pregnancy. I didn't feel this way at all when I was pregnant with the twins, but I think thats because my personal feelings were overshadowed by my feelings of carrying those babies for the parents who were waiting for them. I felt stronger emotionally with that surrogate pregnancy, and I feel sad, weak, and pathetic with my own.
I hope to start feeling like the REAL me in 5-6 weeks once this little guy is born. I'm really miserable.
1 comments:
I hope you start to feeling like the first Jen as soon as possible. And if you don't please text or call me if you want/need to. Don't be feeling in the gutter alone... I know we all get busy but I can always make time to talk or stop over in the evening or SOMETHING! Don't forget I'm here for you if you want & need a friend around!
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