Well summer is winding down, which can be evidenced by the temps here in MN. Today will be up to 79 and sunny, so we will go swimming. The next 10 days will be upper 60's and low 70's. Just in time for school to start!
I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be for both my babies to be in school. Luckily they will be in school at the same time (afternoons) so I will have a couple hours to myself. Not sure what I'll do, but I'm sure I will figure something out.
It doesn't look like we will be going to Memphis in September after all since the kids have school. Maybe we will go in October when they are on fall break. I don't know how I just 'forgot' that from now on we have school schedules to work around. No more up and leaving on a vacation whenever we want.
I ordered the kids' Halloween costumes!! Ian is going to be Luigi and Quinn is going to be Mario. I got them last week but Ian's was too small so I had to send it back for a bigger one. But they are going to be SO CUTE! And I may not even need a new costume this year...I still have my Princess Peach costume from a few years ago. Maybe Chris could be Toad. haha
I have a few races coming up. I am running the Tiger Tracks 5K at the zoo this Saturday, then another 5K at the Renaissance Festival in September, and then a 10K in October. Hopefully I will be ready for it by then. I am up to running 4 miles now and will work on making it to 5 throughout September, and then hopefully be up to 6.5 by October 24th! I'm not racing to win because as far as running goes I am super slow. I chalk it up to having very short legs and sometimes being clumsy. I trip over my own feet sometimes, so running any faster than I do now just screams 'disaster!' I usually run 3 miles in 32 minutes...so about a 10.40 mile. I would love to get my 3 miles under 30 minutes but I really have a hard time keeping speed. Ah well...for me the speed doesn't really matter...its just getting it done that matters. :)
I am down to 155 and feeling wonderful! I am starting to feel like myself again. I am horribly self-conscious of my appearance so I can tell that the smaller I get, and more toned I get, the better my mood is and the better I feel about myself. I'm still doing my Weight Watchers plan and exercising as much as I can get my butt to the gym! Its going well and I am very happy. I've just got to get into shape for next summer so I can wear a bikini in Fiji. I've mentioned to Chris more than once about trying for another baby next fall (after our big trip!) and I think its making him nervous. The freedom we have right now with both boys being so independant (and potty trained!) is wonderful and we're both scared about starting over with a newborn. But I just cant explain it...I all of the sudden just want to have more kids. 2 more, probably. What is wrong with me!? This isn't like me! I've always been so certain I only wanted 2. I think my priorities are changing the older I get. I dont really care much for going out and stuff anymore. I just want to be a mom. And I REALLY want to have a house full of kids...laughter, love, and lots of noise! Chris wants me to do another surrogacy next fall...to give us some time to really be sure if we want more kids, I think. I do like that idea, but I became so emotionally invested in Melissa & Brian and their girls that it just feels a little weird to consider doing it all again for someone else. I also feel like I am 4 for 3, as far as delivering 4 healthy babies so far in 3 healthy pregnancies... so I wonder if I really want to push it...to push my luck. Surely its almost 'my turn' for something bad to happen, statistically speaking. They say 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, so that scares me for the next time. My mom beat that statistic though...she had 4 pregnancies that resulted in 4 healthy kids...but some of her pregnancies were tough and troublesome.
*sigh*
I have plenty of time to make whatever decision I am going to make. If I do another surrogacy I will definitely do it before having another child of my own. That is, if I decide to be pregnant again at all. Getting back into shape after babies is hard! ;)
Ok so, enough about that. That was just me rambling about something that confuses the crap out of me right now. I have no idea what I want to do, or when I want to do it...if I even want to do anything. I think I should work on being a better Mom to the kids I do have before I think about having more.
Which means right now I need to go play Mario Party 8 with a certain 5 year old who is sitting here asking every 2 minutes "Are you done yet? Are you done typing?"
2 comments:
I felt the same way you did about doing another surrogacy for somebody else, but I went for it and although it hasn't been successful yet (we are one of the m/c stats), I've found that in these couple of months, I have become closer to them than I ever thought I was with my first IP's. Good luck with whatever you decide. You can do anything you put your mind to!
You are doing a good job! Thanks to you, three wonderful kids were brought to this world. I hope you will still be able to pass one more piece of joy for those parents who are unable to bear a child on their own.
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